Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
