Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize