Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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