ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
