he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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