her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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