my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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