508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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