I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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