none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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