Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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