The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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