Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
