If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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