What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
