He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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