the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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