also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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