pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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