Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
