Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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