every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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