Buhtt sex?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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