i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
