I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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