You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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