I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
