i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
