Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
