Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I love you.
Bad choice
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