Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
