Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
