do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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