I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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