My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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