I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
