the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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