Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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