You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
