I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
