think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
