oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
