I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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