If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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