i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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