it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
