u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
