"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
