I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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