Will you blow on my dice?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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