There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize