we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
