My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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