Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
