just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
