you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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