well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
