Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
