He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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