So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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