Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
