You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
