So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
